


My Immortal: English Translation

by CrazyDyslexicNerd



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Angst, Bad romance (not song), But Would Do This Again, Censored, English translation, Excessive dressing, F/F, F/M, Geography, Good Charlotte - Freeform, Goths, Historically minded author makes notes, I'm not actually sure what happens in each chapter, M/M, MCR, Mary Sue, Multi, My Immortal - Freeform, Not Politically Correct, Offensive Jokes, Other, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Out of Character, Posers, Tags Are Fun, The Author Regrets Everything, The author is annoyed that the original author could spell mediocre correctly but not love, Totally Nothing Resembling What it is Based on, Translation, bad spelling, preps
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-01-11
Updated: 2014-01-12
Packaged: 2018-01-08 09:24:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,200
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1130929
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CrazyDyslexicNerd/pseuds/CrazyDyslexicNerd
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>So, every member of the Harry Potter fandom has heard of the infamous My Immortal by Tara Gillespie, right? Well, I don't believe it is written in English, so I decided to translate it into something slightly more legible. This is a very odd story with very OOC characters and a plot that makes no sense. Enjoy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapters 1 and 2

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [My Immortal](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/34095) by Tara Gillespie. 



> I first found my immortal with comments, and found I was completely unable to understand the original text. Since then, I have become more adept at reading the language originally used. I decided to translate this story into English so those who either simply have no comprehension of the language Tara Gillespie used, or, like me, have enough trouble reading English without this entirely different dialect (dyslexia and the original text of My Immortal do not mix well). Everything written in italics I added for ease of comprehension or for the readers enjoyment. Word choice, grammar, punctuation, and similar are not italicised.

My Immortal English Translation  
Chapter 1

Author’s Note: Special fangs (get it, because I’m gothic) to my good/girlfriend (not in that way) Raven, (username bloodytearz666), for helping me with the story and the spelling. You rock! Justin, you are the love of my depressing life; you rock too! My Chemical Romance (MCR) Rocks!

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Hi, my name is Ebony Darkness Dementia Raven Way. I have long ebony black hair (that’s how I got my name) with purple streaks, and the red tips of my hair reach my mid-back, my icy blue eyes are like limpid tears, and a lot of people tell me I look like Amy Lee (Note 1).  
I’m not related to Gerard Way despite sharing a last name, but I wish I was because he is really hot. I’m also a vampire, but my teeth are straight and white and I have pale white skin. I’m a witch as well, and I go to a magic school called Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry in England _(this is a small error in geography, Hogwarts School is, in fact, in Scotland)_ , where I’m starting my seventh year (I’m seventeen). _For any who do not know, Hogwarts is a boarding school that one attends for up to seven years (the seventh year being optional) from the age of eleven until seventeen or eighteen_.  
I’m a Goth, _(a note on Gothic subculture may be found at the end of the chapter)_ in case you couldn’t tell, and I wear mostly black. I love Hot Topic, _despite it being an American chain of music and pop-culture related retail items,_ and I buy all my clothes from there. For example, today I was wearing a black corset with matching lace around the edges, a black leather miniskirt, pink fishnets, and black combat boots. I was wearing black lipstick, white foundation, black eyeliner, and red eye shadow. I was walking outside Hogwarts and it was both snowing and raining _even though it was September, someone was probably practicing spell work,_ so the sun was not visible which I was very happy about. A lot of preps _(see note on ‘preps’)_ stared at me. I put up my middle finger at them, _as I had spent the summer in America where I found my love of Hot Topic and the use of the middle finger instead of the more expected V-sign with palm facing inward_.

‘Hey, Ebony!’ shouted a voice. I looked up and saw that it was Draco Malfoy.

‘What’s up, Draco?’ I asked.

‘Nothing.’ he said, shyly.

But then, I heard my friends call me and I had to leave.  
Note 1: if you don’t know who she is get the h*** out of here!  
Note on Gothic Subculture: A movement that started in England around a unified taste in music and eventually developing a particular sense of fashion. The use of Gothic to describe the culture is misleading, Gothic originally described a type of architecture used before the Renaissance. Gothic architecture is known for being light, airy, and spacious particularly compared to the Romanesque architecture preceding it. In fact, while Romanesque focused on a theme of eternal damnation, Gothic was focused on salvation.  
A note on ‘preps’: A ‘prep’ was originally a person who went to a preparatory school or was preparing for an, often prestigious, college. It eventually came to mean a person who conforms to the latest style and the stereotypical behavior of a teenager. Now close to synonymous with conformist and considered an insult.  
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Author’s Note: Is it good? Please tell me what you think! Fangs in advance!

Chapter 2

Author’s Note: Fangs to bloodytearz666 for helping me with the chapter! By the way, preps stop flaming my story, okay?

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The next day I woke up in my bedroom, _I had been given my own room off my dormitory so I wouldn’t drink other students blood or something similar_. It was snowing and raining again, _I wondered who was practicing there weather spells so intently._ I opened the lid of my coffin and drank some blood from a bottle I kept in my room. My coffin was black ebony, _multiplied by other wizards so as not to cut down endangered kinds of trees,_ and inside it was covered in hot pink velvet with black lace around the edges. I got out of my coffin and took of my giant MCR t-shirt which I had slept in. Instead, I put on a black leather dress, a necklace with a pentagram shaped pendant, combat boots, and black fishnets. I also put on four pairs of earrings, and put my hair in a messy kind of bun.

My friend, Willow (see Note 1), woke up then and grinned at me. She flipped her long, waist-length, raven black hair with pink streaks in it, and opened her forest-green eyes. She put on a Marilyn Manson t-shirt with a black mini skirt, fishnets and pointy high-heeled boots. We put on our makeup together (black lipstick, white foundation, and black eyeliner if you were interested).

‘Oh my f****** God, I saw you talking to Draco Malfoy yesterday!’ She said, excitedly.

‘Yeah, so?’ I said, blushing.

‘Do you like Draco?’ She asked, as we left the Slytherin common room and entered the Great Hall.

‘No, I so f****** don’t!’ I shouted.

‘Yeah right!’ She exclaimed. Just then, Draco walked up to me.

‘Hi.’ He said.

‘Hi.’ I replied, flirtatiously.

‘Guess what?’ He said.

‘What?’ I asked.

‘Well, Good Charlotte is having a concert near Hogsmeade.’ He told me. _Hogsmeade is a wizarding village near Hogwarts that older students were allowed to visit on certain occasions and apparently Good Charlotte was on an international tour. I discovered Good Charlotte and MCR when I was visiting the U.S._. 

‘Oh. My. F******. God!’ I screamed. I love Good Charlotte, in fact, they are probably my favorite band besides MCR.

‘Well, um, do you want to go with me?’ He asked.

I gasped at him.  
Note 1: Raven, this is you!


	2. Chapters 3-5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The translator is not always sure of what is meant, and crimes against characterisation are perpetrated.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shenanigans happen, and bands go on international tours and turn out to be wizards. I do not condone anything written in this story!

Chapters 3-5  
Chapter 3

Author’s Note: Stop flaming the story preps, okay? Otherwise, fangs to the gothic people for the good reviews! Fangs again, Raven! Oh, yeah, by the way, I don’t own this or the lyrics for Good Charlotte.

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On the night of the concert, I put on my black lace-up boots with high heels. Underneath them were ripped red fishnets. Then I put on a black leather mini-dress with all this corset stuff on the back and front. I put on matching fishnet gloves on my arms. I straightened my hair and made it look all spiky. I felt a little depressed then, so I slit one of my wrists. I read a depressing book while I waited for it to stop bleeding and I listened to some Good Charlotte. I painted my nails black and put on tons of black eyeliner. Then I put on some black lipstick. I didn’t put on foundation because I was pale anyway. I drank some human blood so I _wouldn’t get hungry_ at the concert.

I went outside and found Draco waiting there in front of his flying car _as the only flying car I had heard of was wild in the Forbidden Forest, I had to wonder where he had gotten it. Thinking about it, using a flying car is very likely illegal, but as nothing else makes logical sense, I decided to ignore it._ He was wearing a Simple Plan t-shirt (they would play at the show too, _they were apparently touring the United Kingdom with Good Charlotte, a New Jersey band and a Canadian band touring together on an entirely different continent, cool_ ), baggy black skater pants, black nail polish and a little eyeliner (Note 1)

‘Hi, Draco.’ I said in a depressed voice.

‘Hi Ebony.’ He said back.  
We got into his flying black Mercedes-Benz (the license plate said 666) and flew to the place with the concert. On the way we listened excitedly to Good Charlotte and Marilyn Manson. We both smoked cigarettes and took drugs. When we got there, we both hopped out of the car. We went to the mosh pit at the front of the stage and jumped up and down as we listened to Good Charlotte.

‘You come in cold, you're covered in blood  
They're all so happy you've arrived  
The doctor cuts your cord, hands you to your mom  
She sets you free into this life.’ sang Joel (Note 2).

‘Joel is so f****** hot.’ I said to Draco, pointing to the singer on the stage, filling the club with his amazing voice.

Suddenly, Draco looked sad.

‘What’s wrong?’ I asked as we moshed to the music, then I caught on, ‘Hey, it’s okay I don’t like him better than you!’ I said.

‘Really?’ Asked Draco sensitively, and then he put his arm around me protectively.

‘Really.’ I said, ‘Besides I don’t even know Joel and he’s going out with Hilary f****** Duff. I f****** hate that little b****.’ I said disgustedly, thinking of her ugly blonde face.

The night went really well and I had a great time, so did Draco. After the concert, we drank some beer and asked Benji and Joel _(turned out the entirety of the band was made up of muggle-born wizards)_ for their autographs and photos with them. We got Good Charlotte concert tees before Draco and I crawled back into the Mercedes-Benz, but Draco didn’t go back into Hogwarts, instead he drove the car into the Forbidden Forest.  
Note 1: A lot of cool boys wear [eyeliner], okay?  
Note 2: I don’t own the lyrics to that song.

Chapter 4.

Author’s Notes: I said stop flaming, okay? Ebony’s name is Ebony, not Mary Sue, okay? Draco is so in love with her that he is acting different! They knew each other before, okay?

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‘Draco!’ I shouted, ‘What the f*** do you think you are doing?’

Draco didn’t answer, but he landed the flying car and got out of it. I got out of it too, curiously.

‘What the f****** h***?’ I asked angrily.

‘Ebony?’ He asked.

‘What?’ I snapped.

Draco leaned in extra close and I looked into his gothic red eyes (he was wearing color contacts) which revealed so much depressing sorrow and evilness and then suddenly I didn’t feel mad anymore.

And then suddenly just as I was about to say more, Draco kissed me passionately. Draco climbed on top of me and we started to make out keenly _(the translator is unsure what is meant by this, but offers ‘excitedly’ as an alternative word)_ against a tree _breaking many laws of physics_. He took off my top and I took off his clothes. I even took off my bra. Then _the text was deleted for sheer ridiculousness and oddity but suffice it to say_ we had sex for the first time.

I screamed as I had an orgasm. We started to kiss each other everywhere we could reach and my pale body was becoming warm.  
Then someone shouted, ‘What the h*** are you doing you mother-f******?’

It was Dumbledore!

Chapter 5.

Author’s Note: stop flaming! If you flame, it means you are a prep or a poser! The only reason Dumbledore swore is because he had a headache, okay? And, on top of that, he was mad at them for having sex!  
P. S. I’m not updating until I get five good reviews!

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Dumbledore told Draco and I follow him.  
He kept shouting at us angrily, ‘You ludicrous fools!’ 

I started to cry tears of blood, _(somewhere a biologist cried normal tears over the idea of blood tears)_ down my pallid face. Draco comforted me. When we got back to the castle Dumbledore took us to Professor Snape and Professor McGonagall who were both looking very angry. _I have no idea why Professor McGonagall was there, as we were both Slytherins_

‘They were having sexual intercourse in the Forbidden Forest!’ Dumbledore yelled in a furious voice.

‘Why did you do such a thing, you mediocre dunces?’ Asked Professor McGonagall.

‘How dare you?’ Demanded Professor Snape.

Then Draco shrieked, ‘Because I love her!’

Everyone was quiet. Dumbledore and Professor McGonagall still looked mad, but Professor Snape said. ‘Fine, very well, you may go up to your rooms.’

Draco and I went upstairs _and then realized our dormitories were in fact in the Dungeons, so we went back down the stairs_ while the teachers glared at us.

‘Are you okay, Ebony?’ Draco asked me gently.

‘Yeah I guess.’ I lied.  
I went to the girl’s dormitory and brushed my teeth and my hair, then changed into a low-cut black floor-length dress with red lace all around it and black high heels. When I came out, Draco was standing in front of the bathroom, and he started to sing ‘I Just Wanna Live’ by Good Charlotte. I was so flattered that I didn't care that he wasn’t supposed to be there _and I had no idea how he had gotten there without the stairs turning into a slide_. We hugged and kissed. After that, we said goodnight and he reluctantly went back into his room.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If I missed any parts in the translation, let me know, please!

**Author's Note:**

> This will be done a few chapters at a time. Comments are welcome, but, please remember I am not the original author and do not agree with much of what is said.


End file.
